Raggedy Annie

Although it rained most of the time we were in Kauai (it is, after all, the wettest spot on earth), we managed to get to the beach a couple of times and toward the end of the week it warmed up enough for us to want to swim.

We went to the beach near our condo and took note of the red flags flying, which meant that the ocean conditions were dangerous and not suitable for swimming. For a while we stood and watched the waves crashing to the shore dragging so much sand with them that the water looked more like the muddy Mississippi during a major flood than the calm blue waters of a Hawaiian ocean. But we didn't let the red flags or the pounding surf scare us off. We saw lots of other people swimming so we decided to brave the waters.

We had brought with us a boogie board from the condo and I watched while Mr. B., being the smarter and more cautious of the two of us, rode the waves nearer to the shore, where they were more foam than surf. After a while he relinquished the board to me and went to lie down on his towel and soak up the sun.

I, being more fool hearty than Mr. B., paddled further out. At first I set myself parallel to the waves and they rolled in, lifted me up, and set me back down without fanfare. I could've spent hours floating up and over the waves that way. But after 15 minutes or so I became more daring. I spotted a bigger wave coming and pointed the board toward shore.

It was like sledding down a long hill of water instead of snow, landing in foam instead of ice crystals. I rode the wave in close to the shore, exhilarated by the speed of the ride. When I stood up I realized that I was half nude; the wave had pushed up the top half of my swim suit so it was riding around my neck. Sometimes it's a blessing to be flat-chested; no one gave me a second glance. I laughed as I adjusted my suit, then grabbed the boogie board and headed back to the deeper water.

Again, I bobbed up and down over the waves for a while. Then I saw another big wave coming, this one bigger than the first one I had ridden. I pointed the board toward shore and prepared to ride the wave. As it crested under me I could see the other swimmers far below me. My stomach tensed; I gripped the board and prepared for the ride.

At that point I became less a body made of muscle, skin, and bones and more like a rag doll instead, with limbs flailing under the force of the ocean. I lost hold of the boogie board as the wave crashed down on top of me, sucked me up, and spit me out. It was like being caught in the spin cycle of a washing machine.

I ended up knee deep in water, trying to catch my breath and my bearings. With one hand I grabbed the boogie board surfacing next to me and with the other I yanked my swim suit top back into place. Then I headed to the shore before another wave could knock me over. I dripped my way over to Mr. B. and tossed the boogie board behind him. "I almost broke my neck," I said as I flopped down on the towel.

Mr. B., relaxing on his towel, frowned at me and shook his head. "You should've stayed closer to the shore like me; it's much safer that way," he said.

"I know, it was crazy. I shouldn't have ridden that wave, it was too big," I said as I massaged my neck and imagined the pain I'd be in the next day from the ocean's thrashing.

But as I watched the waves crashing against the shore my memory of the thrashing began to fade and I started to grab the boogie board and head out again. Then I stopped and replayed my last ride in my mind. I pictured a Raggedy Ann doll, limbs lying limp and useless, and realized that unless I wanted to become a permanent rag doll I'd better stick to watching the boogie boarders instead of joining them. I sighed, put down the boogie board, and lay back down on the towel, resigned to the limitations of my body against the power of the ocean.

I think Mr. B.'s intelligence and cautious nature is starting to rub off on me.